Sunday, November 13, 2011

Pity Party

I've decided to allow myself an entire post to feel sorry for myself.  So if you have not a single ounce of empathy or just don't care, please don't stick around to judge me for my pity party - I couldn't put up the streamers and balloons because I've been too busy whining about my situation.

While I am recovering about as quickly as I expected, and things are definitely improving every day, there are several things that make this recovery very difficult to live with.  Come with me, I'll give you a tour of ACL post-op recovery fun!

My palms are turning purple from the bruises forming as a result of the crutches. I have pools of broken blood vessels on the back of my right leg, under my right ankle and behind my right knee from inactivity. The skin that is regrowing nerve endings around the surgical sites are constantly pins and needles without me touching it and when I do touch it it feels like a red-hot poker is burning me.

I am constantly reminded of just how incapable I am of even some of the most mundane activities right now; showering, going to the washroom, making coffee, standing, sleeping, sitting, dressing myself, putting shoes on, making food, getting a glass of water, feeding the animals... the list goes on and on.

And just as an added bonus, nobody wants to hear any of this.  People know I had surgery, but nobody wants to hear just how shitty this really is for me right now.  I'm certainly not blaming anyone for wanting to avoid such an uncomfortable topic, because really, what can anybody do?  Not much.  Nod sympathetically and tell me they wish me the best.  But really what they're thinking is Oh crap, she's going to tell me something nasty about her recovery and I'm going to have to pretend like I understand... maybe if I just sit here grimacing I won't have to tell her I have no idea what she's going through.

Ahh but that's okay, friends.  Soon I'll be up and mobile and being my usual spastic self and you won't have to worry about me talking about how my incisions are healing all gross or how I have to scoot up to my apartment on my bum on the stairs (that pulley system off the balcony is looking better and better).

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